WONDER WHO COMES UP WITH ALL THIS STUFF.....

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ:

We will heel you

We will save your sole

We will even dye for you.

 

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”;

 

In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels.”;

 

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

 

At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,

You've come to the right place.”;

 

On a Plumber's truck :

"We repair what your husband fixed.”;

 

At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout.”;

 

On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.”;

 

In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”;

 

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.”;

 

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”;

 

Outside a car exhaust Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”;

 

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”;

 

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”;

 

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;

 

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”;

 

At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills.”;

 

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.”;

 

And the best one for last…;

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"